Oh, to Be a Turtle (...and not the Mutant Ninja type,
These original Kirt's Cogitations™ may be reproduced (no more than
5, please) provided proper credit is given to me, Kirt Blattenberger.
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Cog·i·ta·tion [koj-i-tey'-shun] – noun: Concerted thought or
reflection; meditation; contemplation.
Kirt [kert] – proper noun: RF Cafe webmaster.
Feeling old? You wouldn't be if you were a Blanding's
turtle -- they don't senesce, that is, their cells never experience
aging. Blanding's turtles expire only from infectious diseases or physical
trauma (like getting run over by a car). Their hearts, lungs and other
organs are as fresh at 50 as they were at 5, and females become more
fertile with age -- unlike almost all other animal life forms. A researcher
in Michigan named Justin Congdon has been studying the critters for
more than 30 years in hopes of discovering the secret of their
youth. The job is far from glamorous but very important for mankind
according to Justin, who, when hearing the media's infatuation with
the murder in Florida of fashion designer Gianni Versace, remarked,
"Can you believe that? The world mourns for the death of a guy who sews