It seems inevitable that the FAA will
soon start allowing cellphone usage on commercial
airplanes. First we will get trials, then surveys
will be managed to show that the concept is not
so bad, and finally cellphone chatter on airlines
will be a fact of life – like chronic back pain
would be. My guess is that the wireless service
providers will be funding the lobbyists in D.C.
for this one.
So, as if whiny babies, aggressive
use of perfume, putrid body odor, and being squeezed
by portly fellow travelers is not enough to have
to endure (often for many, many hours), now you
can look forward to listening to endless yakking
along with the rest of the pleasantries. Your aisle
mates will undoubtedly fight for window seats and
contort their bodies in obscene ways to get a better
signal. Maybe the airlines will repartition the
planes for phoning and non-phoning sections, but
I doubt it. Instead, they will push the seats even
closer together. Once cellphone usage on airplanes
becomes ubiquitous, maybe I will start a personal
high altitude parachute business for desperate passengers
that just cannot bear the situation any longer.
An orange inflatable boat option with flares will
be available for the over-the-water flights.
This poll seeks your opinion on the situation.
Oh, when answering, do remember to factor in the
possibility of phones interfering with the flight
navigation and aircraft control systems. After all,
that is supposedly the reason for banning the devices
all these years. I sure am glad that most of my
commercial flying days are over.